


Monster

by amberxwrites



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: And angst, M/M, Mentions of Rape, a hella lot of gay, and abuse, and depression, and every other thing you can think of, and i still don't like harry so he's dead, and maybe there's smut, and suicide, and tears, and they are cElLmAtEs, and they both slept with jp which i find funny, bb and james are in prison, brendan and james would make a hot ass couple, cause i love to make everything depressing, dunno which ship i'm more obsessed with, fucked up the timeline cause i can, i love mcnight, i love stendan, just a fic about my two broken boys, like drugs, not roomates sadly, oh well at least james and bb are still here, so lets throw them all in there, so that'll defo get mentioned, sorry about that, they both deserved the world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:28:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27702770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amberxwrites/pseuds/amberxwrites
Summary: "A monster can be exiled for the wrong reasons but at the end of the day, he's still a monster.""That strangely makes a lot of sense."~~~When James gets thrown into prison for a crime he didn't commit, he meets his cellmate. Brendan has already been there for half a decade, so James decides to use him as protection.Growing closer, they begin to open up to one another about their pasts and the paths that led them to prison.But what they don't know is that their lives are connected in more ways than one.
Relationships: Brendan Brady & Cheryl Brady, Brendan Brady/John Paul McQueen, Brendan Brady/Ste Hay, James Nightingale & Juliet Quinn, James Nightingale & Romeo Quinn, James Nightingale/Brendan Brady, James Nightingale/Harry Thompson, James Nightingale/Liam Donovan, John Paul McQueen/James Nightingale, Kyle Kelly/James Nightingale, Ste Hay/Harry Thompson, Ste Hay/John Paul McQueen
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Two Anti-Heroes

**Author's Note:**

> this story is set in 2018 (to correspond with the reason james is in prison). BUT we're gonna pretend harry is already dead by this point (cause i don't like him lmao) and liam is also dead. mac is alive and he never got shoved out of the window, so he never had locked-in-syndrome. also, finn is still in prison at this point and he never got out (for added angst). i'll add to this if i realise i've changed anything else.

Defeated.

That's how I felt.

As the policeman escorted me to my cell, I finally admitted defeat.

A part of me always knew it would end this way. The darkness would get to me eventually. But I didn't think it would happen just yet. Especially not because of a crime I never committed.

I knew it was a long shot, but I thought I would play the tragic anti hero once again and solve the puzzle as to who was framing me. But I didn't. And even if I did, would anyone really believe me?

That didn't matter now. Because I was about to spend ten years in a cage. I lost. I'd lost everything.

Everyone I'd ever loved had left me and now I was alone. Alone in a cage where I'd spend my days wallowing. Alone in the loneliest place on Earth. Alone where I'd desperately need a friend.

Alone is all I'd ever known. That's why I only risked getting attached when it mattered. Because even the people that tell you they love you can stab you in the back. Love doesn't save lives and love doesn't stop people from leaving.

Since when has love ever meant forever?

Love is meaningless. Love is overrated.  
Love is something I would never have. Every time I fell, I lost everything. I refused to fall again. My heart had been broken three times by men I once thought the world of. I'd be stupid to try again.

I was a lot of things, but stupid wasn't one of them.

So I let them take me away without a word, not even the slightest bit surprised that nobody had come to say goodbye. It wasn't just the men I fell for that broke my heart.

"This is your new home." A sickeningly sinister voice sounded, hissing in my ear like the monsters in my head, a scarring reminder that I was trapped.

They had told me I would be sharing my cell with another man. I expected to have a black eye by the end of the night.

A pretty face like mine wouldn't last five minutes in prison.

They opened the door, practically throwing me inside before it slammed shut, undoubtedly being locked seconds later. I stayed on the floor for a few more seconds before pulling myself up, unable to see a thing in the darkness.

"So I have a cellmate now, do I?" A deep, raspy voice interrupted the eerie silence.

I flinched, not having seen anyone when I came in. I knew he was here, but it still startled me.

"Seems like it." I muttered, squinting my eyes in an attempt to gather my bearings. I then realised the darkness was caused by a sheet hanging over the single window high up on the wall. I moved to remove it, but he stopped me.

"Leave it."

I didn't hesitate to listen. This guy sounded like he could snap me in half.

I saw something move from the corner of my eye and whipped my head around, finally spotting him. He was sitting on the top bunk, hopping down to stand in front of me. He was a few feet taller than me, everything about him putting me to shame. Even his beard was more impressive than mine.

I couldn't work out much, but I could vaguely work out that he had dark hair and dark eyes, which didn't surprise me.  
He glared at me with such an intense stare that I had to look away, focusing all my attention on a spider on the wall.

"What's your name, Princess?" He queried, husky voice sending a shiver down my spine.

"James Nightingale."

"Never heard of you." He quipped, eyeing me up and down.

"What about you?"

"Brendan Brady."

"I've heard about you."

"From whom?"

"Warren Fox?"

"Ah, Foxy." He took a step back, hopping back onto the bed.

"How'd you know him?"

"I was the one who got him out of prison."

"And in return, he put you in prison instead?" He joked. I didn't laugh.

He cleared his throat. "So you're a lawyer?"

I nodded.  
"You're not gonna last five minutes in here."

"Don't you think I know that?" I snapped, but he didn't scold me like I thought he would. Maybe he understood why I was so agitated. I sure did have a perfect reason to be.

"So what are you in for James?"

"Something I didn't do."

"So am I. But I'm also in for a lot of messed up shit I did do."

I raised an eyebrow, his words confusing me to no end.

"What?"

"A monster can be exiled for the wrong reasons but at the end of the day, he's still a monster."

"That strangely makes a lot of sense."

And it did. I might have been framed for this one crime, but that didn't mean I had a clean slate. I'd done a lot of things I wasn't proud of and a lot of things that I'd avoided getting sent down for. I guess this was my comeuppance.  
Karma really was a bitch.

"And this monster took the rap for his sister's crime."

"I wish I was here willingly."

"You got framed, huh?"

I nodded.

He let out a breath. "Any idea who framed you?"

I shrugged. "Could've been anyone. Let's just say I'm not the most popular guy in the village. I've made a lot of enemies. I wouldn't be surprised if a member of my own family was behind this."

"Believe me, nobody's family hates them more than mine."

"I beg to differ."

"Then beg."

I just stared at him. I couldn't work this guy out. He was strange. He was unlike anyone I'd ever met before. I suddenly realised why people didn't like me that much.

"How long have you been here for?" I questioned.

"Five years. I got sent down in 2013."

"How long you here for?"

"Life."

My eyes widened. "Life for a crime you didn't commit?"

"Like I said, I've done a lot of bad shit. The monster is finally back in his cage. This might not be where I want to be, but it's where I need to be. It's safer for everyone this way."

"Well unlike you, I won't survive a minute in prison. I need to get out, whether that's from the lies getting exposed or good behaviour or-"

"How long did you get sent down for?"

"Seven years."

"It's not that bad."

"It is if you've been locked up for someone else's lies."

"Well that's the difference between you and me then, isn't it? I covered for my sister so that she could live her life. You got framed because someone hates you that much that they'd go to extreme lengths to ruin your life."

"Are you saying you'd be surprised if someone did the same thing to you?"

"Not at all. I just reckon they'd be too scared to do so."

"And you're proud of the fear factor, are you?"

He smirked. "Don't play me like a villain, Nightingale. I like to consider myself as more of a tragic anti-hero."

"Yeah well.. I'm just a villain."

"Don't worry. I'll protect you in here."

"I don't need your help."

"Would you rather be six feet under?"

"Honestly? Yes."

He ignored my comment, changing position so that he was lying down. I waited for a few moments before realising the conversation was over. I decided it would be best to just go to sleep.  
So that's what I did. I slept.

But the nightmares followed me into dreamland.


	2. Honest Man

I was awoken by a slap on the face, barely opening my eyes before I was glaring at Brendan's smug face.

"Rise and shine Princess. This ain't no summer camp."

I scowled at his amused grin, shoving him backwards so that I could sit up. He was quick to react, grabbing my arm and twisting it behind my back. I hissed at the burn, disguising the sound well so that he didn't think I was weak.

"Touch me again and I'll gouge your eyes out, you understand me Princess?" He whispered gruffly, lips inches away from my ear. "Now wake up and follow me to breakfast like a good little boy. That is, unless you want to be raped or killed."

He let go and walked out. My eyes followed him as I quickly jogged to catch up, not missing the wide smile on his face. I rolled my eyes, deciding it was best not to provoke him.

He was ruthless. I liked that.

~~~

"So there are a few things you should know about the gang." He started, interrupting the not-so-quiet silence as we ate the grim prison breakfast food.

"Yeah? And what are they exactly?"

He lifted his fork, gesturing to a group in the back.

"Stay away from them lot. They'll kill you with one glance."

I eyed the gang. They all seemed rather old, but there was no doubt in my mind that what Brendan said about them was true. It would probably be best to keep my distance.

"Anything else?"

"Yeah." He paused before smirking.

"Don't go round trying to kiss any of these boys."

"What are you talking about?" I spluttered, caught out by the assumption. "What makes you think I'm queer?"

Of course I was gay. But I didn't know if it was safe to admit that yet. Especially since I had no idea who was homophobic and who was not.

He raised his hands in mock surrender, an amused glint in his eyes.

"Sorry. Sorry. You're acting awful defensive though, Princess. Are you sure you're telling me the truth?"

"Positive." I grunted.

"Alright then."

~~~

Prison wasn't as bad as I anticipated. Everyone seemed to fear Brendan, and that worked well for me. They seemed shocked that he was letting me tag along with him, but I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't know how the law worked. Police men and lawyers and any other seedy businessmen who play against criminals get battered in prison. It didn't matter who I was. I was a lawyer and that meant I was on my own.

But having Brendan around proved to be the best thing for everyone.

I wasn't sure about his opinion on me. He seemed to tolerate having me around and took particular enjoyment in watching my squirm. I couldn't blame him though. If I had a insignificant companion, I wouldn't hesitate to tease them as much as possible. It was one of the little things that made life so much better.

Now, I wasn't scared of a lot. I was scared of my dad. I was scared of falling in love. I was scared of commitment. I wasn't scared of criminals. But Brendan terrified me. I had no idea what he was capable of and I didn't particularly fancy finding out.

The less we knew about each other the better.

"So Princess." He had a habit of interrupting the silence. We were quietly sat outside, not doing anything besides making sure our gaze didn't linger on anyone for too long. That was a sure way of getting your neck snapped in half.

"What?" I sighed, already sick of talking to him. I didn't like feeling inferior, but there was no doubt that he was the boss in our... whatever we were.

"Why are you here?"

"I already told you. I was framed."

"Yeah, but what were you framed for?"

"Why would I tell you that?"

He shrugged. "Because I asked."

I rolled my eyes, resting my head in my hands. "It's none of your business."

"Hey, I'm not gonna pressure you." He chuckled. "But I'm also not gonna judge you either. You say you didn't do it and I believe you."

My head shot up, eyeing his suspiciously.

"Why?"

He leant closer, eyes never meeting mine whenever he said something even remotely private.

"I grew up with liars. My sister was the only one who never lied to me. I know when someone is lying and I know you would admit to the crime if you did it."

"And what makes you think I would be honest?"

"Cause you know how the law works. You know how hard it is to lie in court. You wouldn't risk it. You wouldn't risk eventually being caught out. You don't have the guts."

"Are you calling me weak?"

"I'm calling you brave. I can't say I wouldn't lie myself in a situation like that."

"Then that's the difference between you and me, isn't it?" I stated, echoing his words from the day before. "I have a heart."

"Are you insinuating that I'm a cold motherfucker, Princess?"

I grinned. "I'm not insinuating anything. Your words, not mine."

He crossed his arms over his chest, stretching and crossing his legs. "Yeah, well I'm not afraid to admit that I'm callous. It's taken me a long time to get over the defensive stage."

"You and me both. The only problem is that I don't think I'll ever be."

"You gotta try. All you can do is try and see how it goes."

"What's the point in trying if nobody's there to support you?"

"Then surely that's just more motivation to prove them wrong, no? They don't believe in you because you've given them a thousand reasons not to. It doesn't matter if it was your fault or not. The damage is already done. You just gotta avoid the self destruct button and get to work on repairing what's broken."

I tilted my head, trying to read his mind. "You speaking from experience?"

"I'm speaking as a concerned guy who knows exactly what you've been through because I've been through the exact same thing."

"And how do you know that our lives are in any means comparable?"

His eye twitched, his lips forming a smile before dropping back into his signature frown.

"Blood? Bruises? Broken hearts? Ring a bell?"

"Story of my life." I muttered.

"Only we know why we do the things we do. Only we know why we're the person we are today. No one who hasn't been through it will ever understand that - no matter how many times you try and explain."

"I gave up on telling the truth a long time ago. Tried it once and got shut down. Never again."

"Then find someone who understands and tell them."

"How will I know if someone understands?"

He raised a hand, gesturing to himself before directing his attention to the yard.

"You're surrounded by men who never had a chance. Life did them dirty. They probably deserved it, but we all know better than anyone what it's like to be shunned."

"As if I'm going to talk to a stranger- a criminal about my personal business."

"Then don't." He hopped off he bench, patting me on the cheek before sauntering off.

And my eyes watched his every move.


	3. Slices Of The Truth

It was safe to say that I wasn't expecting anyone to show up for visitation day. Before I got sent down, my sister made it her mission to prove I was dead to her. My brother was off on an adventure in America, and despite everything we'd been through, my mother would never pick me over her family.

I didn't exactly have any friends, unless you counted Joanne who was locked up somewhere in a women's prison just like me.

So no, I didn't expect to get called out of my cell. But it happened.

"Nightingale, someone's here to see you." The guard called, opening the cell doors.

My eyes widened. "Who is it?"

"Just get a move on, would ya?"

I glanced towards Brendan, who looked half asleep as he gazed out of the crack between the sheet hanging in front of the window and the wall.

"Don't you have anyone to see?" I asked him and he shook his head, not uttering a word.

I followed the guard out, trying to work out who would be visiting me.

I didn't expect to see the face of my long time nemesis sitting on the other side of the table.

"Ste Hay." I frowned. He nodded towards the chair across from him and I sat down.

"You having fun in here?" He teased and I scowled.

"What are you doing here?"

He raised an eyebrow, a smug smile on his face. "You don't sound particularly happy to see me, James."

"Just tell me what you want." I growled, clenching my fists in frustration.

"Easy tiger." He chuckled, eyeing my fists. "We don't want them to chuck you into solitary now, do we?"

My glare strengthened and he sighed, leaning back with his arms crossed.

"Just thought you'd be interested to know that John Paul's back."

That took me by surprise. I never thought he would go back to the village, especially not after what happened between us.

"Oh.. okay."

"And I told him you were here."

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath before asking, "How did he react?"

He shrugged. "Indifferently. Said you were no longer his problem and what crimes you did or didn't commit are no business of his."

"You did tell him I'm innocent, right?"

He smirked. "Now why would I do that? For all we know, you actually did do it."

"You know I'm not capable." I muttered and he shook his head.

"That's where you're wrong. I don't know what you're capable of anymore."

I tilted my head in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I've been having a conversation with Mercedes." He grinned and I froze.

"What did she say?"

"Nothing much. She just filled me in on all the goss. I had no idea Liam was gay."

"Don't talk about him." I growled. I didn't particularly like reminiscing.

"She also told me what he said about you and Grace." He winked and I rolled my eyes.

"So she told you what we did?" He nodded and I let out a breath, running a hand down my face.

"Does John Paul know?"

He shook his head. "I'll leave that for you to tell him. That's if he ever visits. Which he probably won't, seeing as he hates your guts."

I didn't reply. I just watched him leave. I wanted to say he was wrong. I so desperately hoped he was wrong. But the truth was that there was a huge chance that John Paul did in fact hate me. Especially I he thought I was guilty

Maybe telling him what I did to his sister wouldn't be a big deal after all.

~~~

"How was the reunion?" Brendan queried as the guard - quite literally - threw me back into our cell.

"Let's just say I had an unexpected visitor and leave it at that."

"Awh, now where's the fun in that Princess?" He smirked, shifting so that he was sat close to the edge with his legs dangling off the side of the bed.

"I'm really not in the mood to talk about it." I mumbled, lowering myself to the ground. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head against the wall, closing my eyes and letting out a deep breath

"That bad, huh?"

"You have no idea."

I heard movement and he was sat by my side in seconds, mirroring my position with a few inches of space between us.  
"Come on. Share it with the class.

I tilted my head towards him, eyeing him suspiciously.

"You really want to know?"

He nodded. "I really do."

Fuck it. What's the worst that could happen?

"About a year ago, I was cheated on. So to get back at them, I rolled a car off a cliff and told them the guy they cheated on me with, who happened to be their ex-husband, was tied up in the boot.

"Classic." He snorted.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, well I was hurt."

"How did he- I mean _they_ react?"

He knew I was gay. I don't know why I was still playing it safe, but I was.

"They left the country."

"A bit dramatic, don't you think?"

I shrugged. "I was glad to see the back of them."

"So what does this got to do with your visit today?"

"It was the guy they cheated on me with. He told me they were back in the village and rather arrogantly gloated that they want nothing more to do with me."

"Do you miss them?"

I bit my lip, not knowing how to answer his question. Did I miss John Paul? I certainly didn't when I was with Harry. Or Liam for that matter. But now I was alone.

"Well, if you want my advice, I'd say ignore this guy who came to visit you. He sounds like a cunt."

I laughed. "Well, I did get my own back on him. Another ex-husband of his cheated on him with me."

I realised I'd fucked up the moment the word _husband_ left my lips, but either Brendan didn't notice or he chose not to say anything. Not that it mattered though. He knew I was gay.

"What is it with you and this guy's sloppy seconds? Haven't you dated anyone that this guy hasn't played with first?"

I nodded. "Two people actually."

"Oh, good for you then." He commented, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

He pushed himself up from the floor, jumping back onto the bed.

"Don't I get to hear your story? Or at least a part of it?" I questioned and he smiled slightly, the expression vanishing as quickly as it appeared.

"Someday."


End file.
